If I could clone him, I would.

06:00 Hello, my name is Monday. Can you find your wallet?

1. Sunday afternoon, run around and do errands, putting wallet in the paper grocery bag for the walk home from the store. (Kick self for not remembering re-usable bags).
2. Unload groceries at home.
3. Use paper bag(s) to sort recycling and garbage.
4. Have Patrick take recycling and garbage to the dumpster in the alley behind the apartment.
5. Watch Dexter.
...
7. Take shower and go to sleep.
8. Wake up, make coffee, get dressed and kiss Patrick as he leaves for work.
9. Brush teeth, gather stuff for Light Control class after work and grab walle...

Did you look on top of the fridge? Under the sofa? On the dresser? In the closet? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

It's in the dumpster. Or in the recycle. Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

Climb in dumpster and rummage through the bags. Turn the recycling upside down. Call apartment manager and ask if he knows the garbage collection schedule. Listen to a rambling, unorganized train of thought that convinces you he's probably been smoking pot all night.

Call Patrick and sob.

Walk to work and continue to sob, feeling mildly grateful it's raining to hide the tears. Regain composure and walk into work as if nothing is wrong. God forbid if anyone's barista has their own life, with actual things on their mind.

07:10 Remember why you're marrying Patrick.

This man ran home (neither of us drive to work), searched the dumpster again, found my wallet, brought it to me, gave me a hug and went back to work.

Monday, you bitch, you can't get me. I have Patrick on my side.

P.S. The garbage and recycling were collected at 09:00.